


Blåhaj

by Dokuhan



Category: THE iDOLM@STER
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Humor, IKEA, Jealousy, M/M, Stuffed Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24710338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dokuhan/pseuds/Dokuhan
Summary: That time Ryu decided to be funny and it backfired on him super hard.Based on a lovely piece of fanart by @piop_sidem on Twitter.
Relationships: Akuno Hideo/Kimura Ryuu
Kudos: 7





	Blåhaj

As a rule, Ryu only went into Ikea as a last resort kind of thing. He had a few reasons: putting the furniture together was annoying, getting it back home even more so, and, worst of all, he always got distracted by things he didn’t need. Was a set of wooden birds or an obnoxious dome made entirely out of fake roses necessary? No. Did he want them every time he walked into the store? Hell yes. Naturally that cycled back to the initial mess of having to carry everything back on the train.

But he and Hideo had managed to get on a big redecorating kick since moving in together. Seiji had called it nesting, but Ryu liked to think they were just excited to make their new place their own. A house came with a lot more space to work with than an apartment after all. If it got a little cozy along the way, well…

When Ryu walked into Ikea that day, he tried to be stern with himself. He was only going for the Tokabo lamp for their bathroom, a pair of Tärnbys they wanted in the bedroom, and a new set of dishes. That was it. He had to be strong. He averted his gaze from the various chairs, bookshelves, and bedroom sets. He avoided looking at the dining tables “just to get an idea”, and didn’t consider how much work it would take to replace their toilet.

By the time he reached the children’s section, Ryu thought he was doing a very good job. He had managed to grab all of the table lamps without getting sidetracked. All he needed to do was get through housewares (without buying a plant), grab the dishes, checkout, and he would be home free. Rushing through the kid stuff would be easy since he and Hideo were deftly avoiding _that_ conversation.

And then he stumbled on the Blåhajs.

Normally Ryu didn’t pay attention to stuffed animals, but he managed to catch one of them in the corner of his eye just as he was walking away. It was lying on top of the pile, upside down. Even though Ryu knew they all looked exactly the same, something about that particular shark’s face seemed sillier compared to the rest. Maybe its eyes were sewn just a little farther apart or it’s mouth hung open a little wider. Either way, it struck a chord with him. It reminded him of a face Hideo had when they were first moving boxes into the house. He had tried to catch a stack of them that Ryu almost dropped, and instead wound up falling backwards onto their couch.

The image made him laugh, and he figured he could afford to make one stupid purchase. Hideo would probably murder him later (for more just one reason), but it would be worth it to tease him a little. He didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty as he shoved the giant stuffed shark into his cart.

He _did_ feel it when he wound up buying a set of fake succulents too, but that was besides the point. He couldn’t deny the excitement he felt thinking about how he was going to surprise Hideo with the shark. The dirty looks a couple of people gave him on the train ride back didn’t faze him either.

Back in the house, he quickly hid the shark in one of the closets and put the lamps out in the living room. When Hideo came home about fifteen minutes after Ryu had finished unpacking everything, he was already sitting on the couch and fiddling with the Tokabo as he set it up.

“Hey,” Hideo greeted, leaning over the back of the couch to press a kiss to Ryu’s cheek. “You managed to find them?”

Ryu nodded, screwing the lightbulb into the base. “This was actually the last one they had in stock. It’s totally because of that rabbit’s foot you gave me yesterday, Hideo-san.” He placed the lamp on the table before picking up one of the Tärnby boxes. He handed it off to Hideo when he joined him on the couch and then picked up the other box. “How was practice today?”

“Exhausting, I can’t wait until we’re finally done.” Hideo sighed as he opened up the box. Much like the Tokabo, the lamp was only in a few pieces. “I just want to get back to unit work too. As much as I like working with everyone else, it isn’t really the same.”

“It’s only a couple of more weeks, we’ll all be back together soon.” Ryu secured the glass top onto the lamp and placed it down. “Maybe I should have gotten more of these.”

“They are pretty cute, but I don’t think they’re gonna give off a lot of light. I just thought they’d look nice on the end tables.” Hideo looked the lamp in his hands over before putting it down as well.

Ryu leaned in, placing his hand on Hideo’s lap. “You know…I saw something else today that was pretty cute.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Hideo snorted, placing his hand on top of Ryu’s. “Keep talking like that and I’m going to start thinking you broke something.”

“I got you a surprise, do you want to see it?” He rubbed his thumb up and down Hideo’s thigh, placing soft kisses along his jaw.

“Now I’m definitely sure you broke something.” Hideo turned to face Ryu and cupped the back of his neck, pulling him into a real kiss. “I didn’t know home improvement made you so frisky. Did you make an extra stop after Ikea?”

“No, actually. I found it there.”

“Well, that’s just concerning. I didn’t know they sold _that_ kind of stuff.”

“Those Swedes, they think of everything.” Ryu kissed Hideo again, partially so he wouldn’t start laughing. He pulled away and winked. “Close your eyes, alright?”

Hideo clicked his tongue but obliged, letting go of Ryu so he could get up from the couch.

Ryu stifled his giggles as he ran over to the closet. He had left the stuffed shark in the Ikea bag, covered with a blanket in case Hideo had to put something away before he was ready. He threw the blanket off to the side, holding the oversized stuffed animal in his arms before trotting back out. He sat back down on the couch, holding the shark’s face up to Hideo’s. “Okay! Open your eyes. He looks just like you, Hideo-san!”

He waited for Hideo’s reaction, fully expecting that he was going to get scolded for how he played it up. He braced himself and when nothing happened, he craned his head around the shark to see if Hideo was still there. Sure, he hadn’t felt the couch move at all, but maybe he wasn’t paying the best attention.

Instead of looking annoyed or upset, Hideo had a wide smile on his face. His eyes sparkled with joy and his cheeks tinted pink. “Wow, that’s so cute!” He grabbed the shark from Ryu, laughing as he studied its face. “His face is so stupid. Look at it! It’s like someone jumped in front of him and he got scared.” He turned it around, letting his voice go deeper and more gargled as he imitated what he thought the shark’s voice would be. “Blagh! Someone stole my car!” Hideo laughed harder, burying his face into its back, shoulders shaking as the fabric muffled the noise.

Ryu snorted, trying to talk even as he started laughing too. “I wasn’t expecting that reaction.”

“It’s so stupid!”

“You just said that!”

“I know! Oh my god, I’m crying…” Hideo lifted his head back up, still laughing as he wiped at his eyes. “I love it, Ryu. Thank you so much.”

“I see a lot of Instagram posts in our future, hopefully Producer doesn’t get too upset.” Ryu stared at the shark’s face again, letting all the ideas flow through his head. Maybe they would buy some equally dumb outfits or hats to dress it up in or find places in the house to take photos. They weren’t really supposed to let on that they were living together (much less the extent of their relationship), but if they made an account just for it or kept it isolated to one of their accounts, maybe it would be okay.

Ryu decided that his joke was going to bring them a lot of joy for the foreseeable future.

* * *

It took only a couple of hours for Ryu to decide that he absolutely hated the shark and wanted it gone.

The two of them had decided to leave it in their master bedroom for the time being. It didn’t really fit the theme they were going for, but it would work until they decided on a more permanent place to keep it. They left it on their bed, on top of a mess of throw blankets and their comforter, and went about the rest of their evening.

Eventually, they had to go to bed. Hideo had to be up early the next morning to go to practice and Ryu was scheduled to film a commercial, which meant they needed as much sleep as possible.

Ryu climbed into bed first, snuggling in place as he waited for Hideo to finish his skincare routine and join him. Even though they couldn’t do much that night, he was prime for some one-on-one cuddling before they finally went to sleep. They weren’t going to see each other until late the next day and their schedules were going to conflict a lot more in the following days, so he wanted to get as much boyfriend-time as he could.

He laid back, closing his eyes and grinning as he heard their bedroom door open and close again. The mattress dipped as Hideo got on his side of the bed. Ryu waited for Hideo to curl up next to him, ready to turn around and wrap his arms around Hideo.

But nothing happened. Hideo didn’t even kick at his feet or grab his arm.

He waited some more.

Nothing.

Ryu frowned and turned his head, worried that maybe something was wrong. To his surprise and frustration though, Hideo was next to him – facing away and wrapped around the massive Ikea shark.

Ryu rolled his head back into place, staring up at the ceiling. He’d been replaced and it had been his own undoing. He couldn’t believe it. He frowned again, letting out a loud sigh, and wiggled in the bed. “Hideo-san!” he whined, flopping onto his side.

Hideo groaned, turning his head and pouting. “I _just_ managed to fall asleep, Ryu.”

“You’re ignoring me!”

“What are you talking about?”

Ryu whined again, turning back onto his back again. “Cuddle with _me_ , Hideo-san.”

“What…?” Hideo squinted at him, before looking down at the shark and back at Ryu. He chortled, “Ryu, are you jealous?”

“I thought he was just going to stay on the bed when we weren’t in it! Don’t leave me for another man just because you look alike.”

“You’re so dumb,” Hideo laughed again letting go of the shark and rolling on top of Ryu. “Who gets jealous about a stuffed toy?” He kissed Ryu’s forehead. “Just because there’s a new baby in the house doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

He wrapped his arms around Hideo’s waist, holding him in place. “What am I supposed to think when you do that?”

“So, so sorry.” Hideo mocked and rolled his eyes, leaning up to peck at Ryu’s face again. He stuck his tongue out. “Now I have moisturizer in my mouth. Thanks. Do you forgive me yet? I want to go to sleep already.”

“Hm, maybe.” Ryu squeezed him again, before letting Hideo go so he could roll back onto his side of the bed. He pouted again when Hideo picked the shark back up, but moved onto his side instead of throwing another fit. He laid his arm over Hideo, wrapping their fingers together. “Just let me do this for a while?”

“Good night, Ryu.” Hideo said with a little extra emphasis, but it still sounded very fond. If they were going to spoon like this every night, they were going to need a bigger bed.

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this [amazing, beautiful art](https://twitter.com/piop_sidem/status/1270741561362378752/) by @piop_sidem and my mind automatically went right to "I have to write a fic for this". And after asking for permission, here we are! 
> 
> I love writing this kind of stupid schmoopy shit. 100% my brand. Also, can you tell how much I miss Ikea? 
> 
> Shoutout to the lovely [Baby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plum_n_toast/pseuds/plum_n_toast) for editing this for me~~!


End file.
